Happy Birthday, Dad.

The reminders sneak up on me now. I don’t dread them the same way, yet they remain razor-sharp upon arrival.

I’m trying to type this through tears, and I’m happy to say I’m okay now. That isn’t to say that I don’t miss you terribly, especially on days like today.

But I feel you now. I couldn’t before, but I do now. At the edges of my mind, forever just out of reach.

In my heart, I know we’ve done this dance before, and we’re likely to do it again. For now, it’s the physical reassurances that I miss the most; your hands, your eyes. Your impossible spirit remains, carved from love and undeniable.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love and miss you so much.

-Brandon


Still Here – A Poem by Brandon White

Photo by Josh Hild

Hello Friends,

This Saturday marks two years since my Father’s passing. Grief is a strange thing that it plays by its own set of rules and can drag you back into its depths without warning. The following free verse poem is an echo from that dark place we find ourselves in.


Still Here:

I’m still here
to witness the world
and relay my observations
in poems you’ll never read

They’ve crucified Woody Allen,
I didn’t see that one coming
I grind my teeth thinking of February,
and now it hurts to chew

I’d sleep the rest of this week away
if life would let me
I’d disappear into myself
and never come up for air

Every death I’ve experienced
was like a bomb exploding, with
ways of life and family members blown
in a thousand directions

When the dust settled,
broken, bloody shapes pulled themselves
to their feet and
limped forward, ears ringing,

into a new world


-Brandon White


Promises – A Poem by Brandon White

A free verse poem born from hard lessons.

Promises:

Remember this moment
when the old life
calls to you again.

Remember your brokenness,
and the promises
you made in the dark.

Remember the final breath
and the frantic heartbeat
under your hand.

Remember how quickly
a life, with all its complexity,
can vanish.


-Brandon White

The poem above, “Promises,” appears in my debut poetry collection, The Year that Stole the Light Away (Raw Earth Ink). Click the cover to purchase a copy!